"Well, what is that mysterious "it" that makes you feel ashamed?" you may wonder.
I will tell you... I wrote about myself that a suffered from Eating Disorders. Maybe that isn't entirely correct. I feel like I'm still suffering...
One year before I started suffering from anorexia. When I suddenly felt the will of beating it and eventually realized what I've done to myself, my binge eating attacks began. It's was horrible for me. I had unrealistic thoughts, always in panic of gaining to much weight. I got bulimia.
But a time I started accepting those attacks. My body was just telling me what I needed.
Okay, so far, so good...
Now, I gained very much weight. Don't get me wrong, I'm not over-weight... but I again wanna lose weight!I have eating attacks each day by now... That means more weight gaining. And that makes me feel so... I can hardly express my feeling. I don't know what I should do! I have normal weight, why does my body still wants to eat so much food? I'm not overacting... On some day I eat over 3.000 calories!!!
And I don't see any solution... I always undertake to eat until I'm not hungry anymore, but then I eat more and more! I feel like crying... I feel like a monster! ;(
I'm sorry for that negative post!